I am a little slow on finding out things...only recently did I come across the League of Maternal Justice and their message and mission. In the spirit of motherhood I have decided to step down memory lane to my early days in Breastfeeding Land and drag you all with me. I promise it will be a sweet and short trip.
I have to say that I was unbelievably-freaking-lucky to have had my wonderful doula at Isa's birth to teach me the ins and outs of breastfeeding. She was there to take Isa's little head in one hand, my boob in the other and put the two together correctly. Because of her hands-on approach I was one of the fortunate few who did not have cracked nipples or bleeding (please don't hate me. please).
Breastfeeding was the one thing that I was absolutely terrified about before Isa was born. I was not worried about the labour (boy was I wrong), not the recovery, the complete lack of sleep (I was in denial on this) or the taking care of a new human-being. No. I was was worried about breastfeeding and whether I could do it, whether Isa could do it, whether it would be the most painful thing on earth and whether I would be able to stick it out. Though I knew, read, heard or guessed that it would be work, one thing I had no idea about was how lonely I would feel.
At the beginning when I was trying to get comfortable managing a small baby, undoing my maternity bra and correctly placing the baby to obtain a good latch, I would feed in private. If I was out, I would excuse myself and find a private place, this was so lonely because I would spend the next 15-30 minutes (I really can't remember how long it took) with just Isa. Amazing as she was she was not such good company at the beginning.
But just like everything, things got so much better, by the end I was feeding anywhere and everywhere. I did not care and I got so good at whipping out the boob that I did not feel self-conscious or awkward or embarrassed. I did what I had to do, I was always discrete and the efficient Isa was always quick. If there is a lesson to be learned, it is that you must persevere because the reward is too good to pass up.
Now it is a distant happy memory and hopefully just like riding a bike, it will be like I never stopped so when baby #2 comes along I will be able to get back on it with ease. Not that this is happening any time soon.
We are back now, that was not too long and too mushy I hope. It was nice remembering the good-old days, if there is one thing I miss about breastfeeding is not having to worry about what to feed Isa. Maybe more importantly is that I was always sure that she would love it. This is not the case anymore.