Infinite Love

I don't know if I can put into words the love I have for my Isa. Every time I think of her my heart swells and I can't help but smile. I could be in a crowed bus, at the grocery store or just watching tv at home and if I think of her a smile comes to my lips. I have always been a affectionate person, when my little brother was born I was always kissing him, hugging him and calling him all kinds of funny names. In fact my pet name for him for a very long time was 'lover', now at 15 years old, I have been asked to stop calling him that.

After my parents and little brother moved back to Nicaragua I went through some serious withdrawal and so my husband got me a cat. Let me tell you that I poured all my hugging and kissing and cute name calling on the cat. And like any self-respecting cat he was completely disgusted but tolerated me.

Then when Isa was born, I fell in love all over again. But I was scared to hug her too tight or to kiss her too often, she just felt so delicate. My awkwardness did not last long, soon enough I was able to show her all the love that I had for her. We would have so much fun together, cuddling, and kissing. I have a million and one pet names for her, I had to stop calling her by her many names because I was afraid that she would not know her own name. Now that she is an active toddler, she does not allow me to kiss her as much. She says no bepos mama, bepos is how she pronounces besos which means kiss. Now I have to ask for her permission to give her a kiss, but every once in a while I sneak one in and she laughs and says ' no bepos mama, no bepos'.

There are times when I miss the baby that Isa was, but I love the vibrant, active toddler that she is and look forward to seeing the young little girl that she will become. I have a need to go into her room right now and hold her in my arms, give her a good squeeze and shower her with kisses...but I can't because she is sleeping and Isa sleeping makes me really really happy.